KarTRASHian

For those who know me, this post's title may come as a bit of a shock. I love the Kardashians (you shouldn't be that surprised to hear I'm watching Keep Up With the Kardashians as I write this). From their low-class reality show to their empire of boutiques, products, and social events, I think the Kardashians are insane geniuses. Even that four hour wedding special had me watching and rooting for Kim and man- Kris. In my mind, the Kardashians can do no wrong. They're successful! They're entertaining! They're funny! They're fashionable! Little did I know, I would have to rethink the latter.  Now you must be wondering what happened. Cannes happened.

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Sure, there have been a lot of crazy outfits at this year's Cannes, but this one is officially my least favorite. Ever. So why didn't I just include this bad boy in my Cannes roundup? This ensemble was so painful, it needed my undivided attention. I must admit, her hair and makeup is stellar. Sexy and clean at the same time. Scratch that- I like her makeup. I'm such a sucker for the smokey eye and nude lip combination. That hair, on the other hand, needs to go. A slick ponytail would've been perfect, not this greasy mess!  And that awkward slicked back do is horrendous with the Balmain. Speaking of Balmain, as much as I love Olivier Rousteing and everything he does, this gilded mini just does not work with Kim. She's too boobalicious and curvy for this silhouette and deep v. Especially for Cannes! This is a classy event- not the MTV movie awards. On a side note, why  is Kanye even wearing jeans? THIS IS CANNES! HE'S AT CANNES FOR HIS MOVIE.  For such a glam-obsessed "couple," I'm majorly disappointed.  In a world of red carpet glam, does this really suffice? No.

As if this ensemble couldn't get any worse, Kim decides to put on those Giuseppe Zanotti booties. Not only are they an uncomfortable height, but why would you ever pair those with a mini?  She looks like a second-rate street walker. I hate it. This weekend, I decided to re-watch the first season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Kim claimed she was a stylist in one episode. I scoffed as any fashion snob would.

To top off this fashion horror story, Kardashian did the unthinkable: repeated an outfit. Sure, she didn't wear the same thing twice, but she stole Gwyneth's show-stopping Pucci from the 2011 Emmys, which is worse.

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Though this happens all the time in Hollywood, Fashion Police wouldn't have a weekly "Bitch Stole My Look" segment if there wasn't, this is terrible. How could you copy a look as infamous as Gwyneth's? So wrong. Especially since the same dress is showcased at two very prominent red carpet events: the Emmys and Cannes. Plus, it's not even like Kim looks better. While er hourglass figure offers a different look, I hate those earrings. They are neither here nor there.

Kim has had some fashion successes since then; however, I really wonder if I'll ever forget this. As much as I hate to say it, I feel like Kim Kardashian is no longer relevant in the world of fashion. It's fine, I was always more of a Kourtney fan anywho.
xx

The Style Files: Something Unknown to Me Makes You What You Are

It's fair to say that I'm not taking the passing of Davy Jones vey well. No, this isn't me being sarcastic: I'm legitimately upset. When I was little, I was obsessed with retro TV shows. Obviously, the Brady Bunch was my number one.  From the afternoons after pre-school to the nights where I was plauged with chicken pox, Davy Jones' Girl was my jam. I would dance myself silly- also known as doing the Marsha- to that song and still do (especially to the Very Brady Movie's version). So this week's song had to be Girl because, let's be honest, I probably would've had a crush on him if I was a teen during the 1970s.

Style Spiration: Gwyneth Platrow

Are you still going crazy over Gwyneth Paltrow's sleek, superstar, scene-stealing, spectacular Tom Ford moment from last week's Academy Awards? Well, I am. The more that I think about it, the  more that I realize how much of a trendsetter Gwyneth truly is. During her career, she's had so many red carpet moments that we will always remember. What's so interesting about all of these looks is that they're all progressive and sleek. They all make a statement without crossing the line. How does a trip down memory lane sound to all of you? Let's spend this Sunday remembering (and drooling) over all of Gwyneth's looks.

 At the 1999 Academy Awards (Ralph Lauren): There's no better way to start of this review. Whether you tuned into the 1999 Oscars or not, you know this dress if you're the least bit interested in red carpet glamour. From the color to the silhouette to the jewels, everything about this look is so feminine. I find this so ironic because nowadays, Gwyneth dresses super sleek and modern. Even though this dress is undeniably feminine, the overall simplicity is timeless. (Photo Cred)

Being fabulous in 1996 (Gucci): I think Gwyneth has a knack for picking out super powerful Tom Ford designs.Perfectly executed, velvet, and in a luscious red? Hold me back: it's almost too much to handle. To prevent a Chuck Bass moment- though I do love Chuck Bass and everything he wears- she kept the rest of this look simple: the makeup, the hair, the accessories and even the blouse underneath the suit. In short: Gwyneth did menswear before it was cool.(Photo Cred)

At the 2008 Cannes Film Festival (Chanel): How breathtaking is this look? Whoever styled this did a fantastic job of giving this ensemble some movement and excitement from top to bottom. The arrangement of the glamour-packed sparkles made this look glamourous and not overbearing. Her updo and feminine makeup allows us to focus on that beyond neckline without completely ignoring Gwyneth. (Photo Cred)

At the 2007 Academy Awards (Zac Posen):  I usually don't love peach, but this is fantastic. The high-hugging silhouette and the sheer components of this dress are to die for: this dress commands attention without it being overly aggressive. The non-matching bracelets on each arm give this look a healthy dash of quirky symmetry, which I love. The long locks keep this look refreshing and fun. Oh, and that red lip? No words.(Photo Cred)http://images.teamsugar.com/files/usr/1/12981/paltrow.jpg

• Mila Kunis at Dior 2012 Fall RTW (Dior): I know, I know: I still need to cover London, Milan, and Paris fashion week. But how amazing is this look? Mila destroys the stereotypical European look by wearing something light and overtly feminine. I love how she plays with pastels and whites as well as texture. The straight hair and black belt give this look a very Parisian feel. 
• Claire Danes at Vanity Fair's Academy Awards After Party (Valentino): Yes, my jaw actually dropped when I saw this. The dress is so extravagant and timeless. The minimal jewels allow us to focus on the dress, which deserves as much attention as humanly possible. The glamourous updo and the matching pink lip brings this whole look together.
• Rosie Huntington- Whiteley at Heathrow (Vanessa Bruno, Burberry): I love love LOVE this take on personal style. Navy is such an unappreciated color so I love how she incorporates that Vanessa Bruno blazer into her ensemble. Don't be fooled: navy and black look fabulous together. Rosie finishes this look off with a leopard scarf: my kind of fashionista! 
• Olivia Palermo at Dior 2012 Fall RTW: This look gives me goosebumps. Olivia Palermo always knows how to create a look that is clean, eclectic, and fashion-forward. I'm obsessed with the mix of that printed dress and her cage heels. The cardigan gives this look some Parisian chicness and that side fish tail braid? Too good to be true! 
• Selena Gomez at Vanity Fair's Academy Awards After Party (Dolce & Gabbana): This look is heaven. This form fitting Dolce & Gabbana really shows off her feminine figure in the classiest way possible.  love that soft grey with her complexion and the light lip. Should we talk about that beading? To die for. I love her shorter do with those drop earrings. Overall how sophisticated does Selena look? Now that her boy toy is legal, I suppose she's allowed to dress like a woman.  

xx

The Oscars: Whoever Throws Powder on Burberry is Seriously Disturbed

As the Oscars begin- loved the opening scene, by the way- I begin writing my fashion round up. I've just compiled my best and worst dressed lists. I have to say, this year's fashion is definitely not what I expected; however, can  you ever really predict fashion? Just like the Sacha Baron Cohen-Ryan Seacrest red carpet incident, you cannot. I do have to say that the red carpet disaster angered me: I wonder what Christopher Bailey thinks about it? Anyway, let's cut to the chase and talk fashion, shall we?

THE WORST

Sherri Shepherd: Although I love the color with her skin tone, this dress is way too much. The jewels on the dress? no thank you. The keyhole neck? A major fashion faux pas. Why would she ever wear that black bra with this dress? Terrible. (Photo Cred)

Berenice Bejo (Elie Saab): As much as I love Elie Saab's 2012 Spring Couture, I just don't like how it's worn on the red carpet. It's a gorgeous dress; however, the styling is off. The hair- especially braided- with the beautiful mint color? Not feeling it.  The clutch was too matchy-matchy, which I thought was boring. (Photo Cred)

Viola Davis (Vera Wang):  Absolutely not. I hate the way the bodice fits her: she looks as if she's going to burst at any moment! And the chiffon pleats are terrifying. It just looks awkward. But, to give this review some positivity, her makeup and hair is phenomenal. I love how she's rocking her natural locks. You go girl!  (Photo Cred)

Jenny From the Block (Zuhair Murad):  I think she's getting a little too old to wear such a revealing dress.  The uptight bun isn''t a fun juxtaposition; instead, it's a little confusing.  This is the Oscars: keep it classy! This ensemble would've been great for the Grammys, but not the Oscars. (Photo Cred)

Emma Stone (Giambattista Valli): I hate doing this, but I have to: it's how I feel. As a lot of critics have been saying, I think this ensemble is too similar to the Balenciaga dress Nicole Kidman wore to the Oscars a couple years ago. It almost seems like a not as chic repeat. The chunky Louis Vuitton bracelet is overbearing. Also, I think there's too much red: the carpet, the hair, the dress, the huge bow on the dress. It's just way too much! (Photo Cred)

Shailene Woodley (Valentino): As much as I love long sleeved dresses, I don't like this one at all. All the ivory completely washes her out. The detailing on the bodice looks unfitted and just awkward. The updo makes this look super matronly. And no jewels? Boring! A bold lip or even a pair of statement  earrings would've made this look much better. (Photo Cred)

Anna Faris (Diane von Furstenberg): I eye this dress every time I'm in Diane von Furstenberg; however, not for this red carpet. I think this look can  either look too flashy,  oddly matronly, or awesome. Surprisingly, this dress did nothing for Faris: she looked rather heavy. As much as I love that blunt bob, it doesn't work with this styling. The longer earrings just look awkward. This dress would've been much better at the MTV Movie Awards or the Grammys, especially with a sleek ponytail. (Photo Cred)

 Natalie Portman (Dior): Love the jewels, hair, and makeup; however, I have very big issues with this dress. First of all: polka dots to the Oscars? What was her stylist thinking?  She just looks frumpy. Portman should've just stuck with Rodarte: a good 'ol Rodarte and Portman collaboration never disappoints me. (Photo Cred)



THE BEST

Stacy Keibler (Marchesa): Can we say 'Golden Goddess'?  How flawless does Keibler look in this Marchesa?  The simple silhouette is perfectly paired with the rosette and the asymmetrical shoulder. What I appreciate most about this look is the sense of balance: the hair and the rosette work together to create a cohesive and balanced look. Keeping the jewels at a minimal is perfect for this look because it's so shiny. In fact, statement jewels would've ruined this ensemble. Fantastic. (Photo Cred)

Michelle Williams (Louis Vuitton): There are no words to properly state how gorgeous she looks. This color is so stunning, but not overbearing.I'm obsessed with the subtle ruffles and the peplum: the perfect amount of detailing. Bold bracelets would've made this outfit too midsection heavy, so I love  the dainty necklace. That bright lip makes this look cohesive and entertaining from head to toe! All these components are so reminiscent of William's  Vera Wang dress at the 2006 Academy Awards, but that's alright with me! (Photo Cred)

Rose Byrne (Vivienne Westwood): So I would like to be Rose Byrne in my next life: I'm obsessed with her style and, as always, she rocked such an innovative dress. This dress is just like Anna Faris' outfit...but better. This asymmetrical neckline and the column silhouette makes black sequins sexy. Since her bob isn't as pinned to her face, Bryne's dangling earrings complement her short do. Her makeup, jewels, shoes, and clutch all worked together to form a truly glamorous and sexy look. Also, can we look at that back? Phenomenal. (Photo Cred)

Tina Fey (Carolina Herrera): I think Derek Blasberg describes this look the best. Finally, Tina Fey is coming into her own and dressing to impress. I love the peplum on this Herrera dress. The glam bun and standout blue jewels? Forget about it.However, he dark color and the flared skirt stick with her original fashion aesthetic.  (Photo Cred)

Angelina Jolie (Atelier Versace): Sexiest dress of the night? Absolutely yes.The high slit plus the structured bodice gives us the perfect mix of sultry and fashion forwardness. The lack of jewels makes this look more simplistic and relaxed. Can we talk about the bright lip and flowing hair for a second? Va va voom!  Let's be honest: you would pop your leg like that if you were wearing that dress. (Photo Cred)

Milla Jovovich (Elie Saab): Such a stunning red carpet moment. This look is seriously flawless: the asymmetrical shoulder is absolutely divine and that beading is out-of-this-world. The silhouette, not to mention the hair, epitomizes old school glamour. The phenomenal red lip spices up the monochromatic look. (Photo Cred)

Penelope Cruz (Giorgio Armani): This is my favorite Penelope Cruz look ever. The color is beautiful and that silhouette is so classic. The shoulders really show off that old school glamour. Her classic makeup, glamourous hair, and dainty necklace finish off this look with a bang! (Photo Cred)

Jessica Chastain (Alexander McQueen): Definitely one of my favorites from the night. This is so different for Chastain; however, it was a risk worth taking! I love the mix between black and gold, especially with that fantastic print. Her polished down do and fresh makeup  adds a hint of girly glamour. She literally looks perfect.  (Photo Cred)

Octavia Spencer (Tadashi Shoji): First of all, she won!  Second of all, I'm obsessed with this dress. I love the super flattering silhouette of this dress. The beading moves towards her stomach, making this dress even more flattering. White looks absolutely gorgeous with her complexion! Also, her hair and makeup is sultry and classic at the same time. How? I couldn't tell you. As a side note, I would really like those earrings in my jewelry box. (Photo Cred)

Gwyneth Platrow (Tom Ford): Such a stunning ensemble. I love how Platrow is always willing to take  risks. What makes this look work is the straight silhouette. If there was anymore volume, the cape would look terrible. Even without the cape, this dress is effortlessly chic. That strong cuff gives this Tom Ford attire that dash of glamour that the night requires. This red carpet ensemble will go down in history.(Photo Cred)

What are your thoughts? Comment below! 

xx

The Weekly: And Prada's Never Broke My Heart Before*

*Just to begin, I'm fully aware that this will be a terrible weekly; I've been so busy visiting my lovely college friends at Long Island, shopping for my sister's birthday (I got her some fabulous 21st birthday presents), and then a nice Father's Day dinner, and more socializing. So it's late and not supreme, but here it is at least! 

At the mall today, I fell in love. Head-over-heals, "his and her towels,"(thank you, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days) love. "With whom?" you may ask. No no, with what. It's not surprising that I, a gal with a serious spending issues, falls for fashion. But, to me, instantly lusting over a piece is something that I live for. I always start styling a plethora of looks. And for this weekly, I'm going to break down some must-have that I spotted today and how to make purely epic.

1. Black Flats 

"Wow, how typical is she?" you might be asking yourself. I know, black flats are rather typical; however, I saw these Prada flats and spazzed. My current black flats, bless their soles (pun), are slowly but surely decaying. There are a few holes and the bow occasionally detaches, but I love them. When I saw these bad boys, however, I thought that they are potentially the perfect replacement. The bow is so large and in charge; I kind of love it. Although many may think that a closed toe and black is a no- go for the summer, I wear my black flats all of the time and you can too!  For a nice summer take, flats like these would be perfection with black skinnies and a summer top. They would also shape up an oversized dress. In my humble opinion, really invest in these flats, they'll be a strong staple all year around!

2. Soft Brown Leather Jacket

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My mom and I walked into Vince  today and I went gaga over this jacket. First of all, the leather was so soft: I was really close to stealing/buying it and using it as a blanket. The light brown color, as well as the stretchy fabric on the sleeve, made this jacket less serious and more summery. Don't get me wrong, I'm all from leather in the summer, but black can be a little too sharp. A boho chic midi dress would make this look casual chic, which I love. Or even a romantic top and short shorts would look absolutely fabulous.

3. Pastel Jeans

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For a couple weeks now, I've been lusting over a pair of pastel jeans. I tried on a pair today and it...didn't work out. Anywho, I think a pair of pastels would be the best way to spice up a typical pair of jeans. And also, it's a fabulous way to show off a tan!  For a cozy look, this would be supreme with a delicate sweater. And of course, a fun peasant top would work with this too. My key advice for color jeans: be safe with color and don't treat them like a fashion risk. They're just pants.

Well that was extremely quick, but onto the weekly! 

• Gwyneth Paltrow at the NYC Bent on Learning Event (Alexander Wang): In my mind, Gwyneth looked like a chic goddess! First of all, her hair and makeup look absolutely beautiful; the light makeup color scheme brightens up what could be a very dark look. The draping is so elegant, yet, the opaque black shoulder makes this look more bold. Beautiful combination, Mr. Wang. I think she could have worn some jewels, whether they are a beautiful set of drop earrings or some thin bracelets,  but the minimal accessorizing strangely works. And the whole look was beautifully completed by strappy peep-toes; the peep part gives the look enough modernity but the straps make the look a little more goddessy. What I love most about this dress, in conclusion, is how it can really take Gwyneth to the fall, not like she'd wear this again to an event. Can we say tights and booties?
• Elle Fanning at the Crystal&Lucy Awards (Marc Jacobs): MARC JACOBS RESORT 2012? This girl is quickly getting the fashion world wrapped around her little finger. I literally cannot get over this dress, it's so beautiful! And the fact that she paired this beautiful blue with a coral? Risky and brilliant. So I love it. A sleek updo is best because anything else would look like too much or too little. And once again, she's wearing art so minimal jewels are smart. The only thing I would change about this look is the makeup. Since this dress is so awesome, her makeup doesn't complete the look. Maybe a strong lip or a cat-eye would rock this.

What's next: Resort 2012 Round-Up 

xx