Like I would be able to start this blog tomorrow. The Golden Globes haven't even started as I begin this blog post and I have so much to say! I've been sitting on my couch for three hours, attached to the television and the dresses?! OOOF! Amazing. Some look great and some...well..don't, but that's what I'm here to talk about!
So let's get started, eh?
- Jennifer Love Hewitt (Marchesa): I think she's a really pretty lady, but her outfits are just terrible. It was just too matchy and senior prom-esque. And the hair was just a battered bee's nest. There was no "pop", no "wow" factor. I don't know how she did it, but Jennifer Love Hewitt made Marchesa boring. That's just not okay.
- Julianne Hough (Marchesa): Julianne's biggest problem is that she's trying too hard. Usually, I'd love the idea of this jeweled neckline, but I really hate it here. It's way too forced! The up- do is really ruining it for me, I think a sleek ponytail would have made this oh so sophisticated. It's just a bit unbalanced, which is the problem. If it had a silt and paired with some fabulous shoes, I'd love. But the hair is poof and the collar is so bold, it just makes the rest of the look boring.
- Kyra Sedgwick (Pucci): Been there, done that. It's a mix of Diane Kruger and Lea Michelle. I just don't like that. Usually, she has so many fabulous outfits, this was just not good enough. It was boring and not Globes material. This color is way too young for her. I'm just not a fan at all. Does that sound harsh? I'm really sorry!
- Julie Bowen (Tadashi Shoji): She's gorgeous and I'm obsessed with her on Modern Family , but not this look. I do love the color on her, but I wish the texture was either on the skirt or bodice, not both. Preferably, the skirt. For her age, it just seems like a bit too much. While she looks gorgeous, her other accessories are also lacking; a metallic bag would've looked so cool with this dress and I would prefer a darker shoe. But all in all, it was satisfactory.
- Helena Bonham Carter (Vivienne Westwood): This is the worst outfit in the whole wide world. I repeat, this is tragic. Just to re-emphasize the fact, just look at this and cringe. I don't care how quirky you want to be, what makes us unique makes us shine, but MATCH YOUR SHOES. Nothing about this is alright, but it would've been a bit better if she matched her shoes. Does she have a stylist? She should get one. This is horrendous. I hate this more than I've ever hated a dress. This an insult.
- January Jones (Versace): If this is best dressed, I will think something's wrong with fashion today. This is completely taste-less. Yes, she's a gorgeous woman, but this is too much. People may not know this, but it is possible for people to show some skin, look sexy, and remain classy. Her hair and makeup looks so timeless, but this is so trashy.
- Emma Stone (Calvin Klein): I think she looks gorgeous, but I'm just using her Klein dress as ammunition against minimalism. The peachy color blends in with her skin too much and her recently blonde hair makes her look so bland. What would've made this look so much better is a red lip or some dramatic makeup. What I hated was how forgettable it is.
- Elisabeth Moss (Donna Karan): I'm going to make this really simple: great dress, terrible accessories. This look single-handedly proves how terrible accessories can lead to a terrible look. Am I using the word terrible too much? Oh well. The makeup is too natural and she just looks really really bare. A bracelet or something would've made the world's difference.
- Sandra Bullock (Jenny Packham): Yes, Sandra's been through some terrible things this year, but that's not an excuse. Her bangs are really emo, as my boyfriend perfectly stated. This dress reminds me of a former ice skater in a retirement home. It's too old and too sparkly for being too old. Maybe she ran out of fuel after her frequent hits last year?
- Halle Berry (Nina Ricci): This whole long sheer look is really starting to get on my nerves. Halle Berry is extremely sexy, there's no need to look like a street walker. That's all I need to say, I believe.
- Jennifer Lopez (Zuhair Murad): Take off the cape, J.LO, you just look silly! And the makeup was TOO MUCH! And I thought you were going to be a fashionista...
- Scarlet Johansson (Elie Saab): I think I screamed when I saw this look. Seriously, it was scary. I hated the kimono sleeves and that hair?! EW!! It was just scary. I feel for her break up with Ryan Reynolds, but once again, no excuse. She just looks so old, which I find bothersome. She is easily one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. She needs to dress for her age and someone needs to stop teasing her hair.
- Heidi Klum (Marc Jaccobs): Trust me, I love 70's inspired dresses, but this was not chic. In fact, I really despised this. It takes a lot for a supermodel to look ugly. Congratulations Heidi, you achieved the impossible. If her hair was longer and if the dress wasn't so ugly, this look would be unbelievable. But the hair is so awkward and the dress...ooof ....it looks like it got caught is some kind of laundry disaster. I just don't understand, nobody on Project Runway couldn't do better? Really?
- Tilda Swinton (something boring): I really despise Tilda Swinton and her minimalist ways. I'm upset.
- Olivia Wilde (Marchesa): She is such a superstar. I'm obsessed with this. Although shimmer full skirted dresses have been a bit overdone lately (let's think the majority of Rachel Zoe's clients), Wilde made it new with her super straight hair and bob. She made such a beautiful dress look edgy and rockish. Also, have you seen her shoes? SO COOL! I love how she always mixes it up and always looks fierce.
- Mark Salling (Simon Spurr): Those aviators, that fo-hawk...I'm in love. He could probably wear anything and, with those accessories, still look undeniably sexy and chic. That's all I need to say about this.
- Jayma Mays (Alberta Ferretti): She looks sooooo sleek in this Ferretti outfit. I love the drastic neckline and back; the sheer netting makes it looks extremely awesome. The black is so striking with her red hair. Usually with black dresses, it's hard to see the detail in pictures. But the details in this dress are not only visible, but extremely striking. She nailed this.
- Amber Riley (Oliver Tolentino): A completely sparkled dress can be difficult for anyone to rock, especially people who aren't a size 00. Riley, however, looks absolutely incredible. I love how she's embracing her curves; this lady has an amazing voice and she's so adorable!
- Diana Agron (J.Mendel): She looks like an old school movie star. Incredible. Surprisingly, this color does not wash her out; instead, she looks so timeless. Even though her makeup was light, that did not wash her out either. I don't know, she seems to have a knack for not getting washed out! All in all, she looks heavenly!
- Jake Gyllenhaal (Burberry): I love a good juxtaposition. Jake's scruff with his cleaned up Burberry is definitely one of my favorites. How can you not love Jake?! And I love a good bow tie! So Jake and a bow tie is priceless.
- Lea Michele (Oscar de la Renta): Her personality kind of bothers me, but she really looks flawless. This outfit is perfectly put together. The messy up-do works so well with the ruffled de la Renta dress. And the pink color is so fabulous! I don't think she's ever done something girly before, but I'm loving this. That green cocktail ring is such a great finishing touch. I love love love this!
- Leighton Meester (Zac Posen): People may think she looks like an old lady in this Posen dress, but I love it! Her makeup and hair is so fresh and youthful. Also, the silt gives the look some va va vroom!
- Catherine Zeta Jones (Monique Lhuillier): A vision. This emerald looked amazing with her complexion and the silhouette was so age appropriate and beautiful. Is it upsetting I knew this was a Monique Lhuillier dress when I saw it? Her slicked back hair and dainty jewels went perfectly with this look. Obsessed.
- Mila Kunis (Vera Wang): Once again, emerald is a fabulous color right now. I love the ruching and tiny details of this dress. What I love about this dress is how she really made this dress youthful. The one shoulder and volumized hair really made this chic edgy and chic, which works perfectly for Mila!
- Tina Fey (L'Wren Scott): A for Effort! Fey has come a long way from her days of simple black dresses. I thought the velvet was interesting and navy?! She's really growing! It was age appropriate but something new, which I really appreciated.
- Megan Fox (Armani Prive): I didn't recognize Megan Fox when I first saw her; she didn't look like a sex symbol, but a movie star. It was so girly, which I loved on Fox: the hair, the dress, the shoes. I loved how the shoes picked up on the sparkle in the Prive dress. And the sparkle on the Prive dress worked well with her metallic clutch. This look wasn't too matchy matchy, but it all worked and made sense. It was so classy, Megan Fox should definitely try this look more often!
AND NOW FOR THE TWO DRESSES THAT CHANGED MY LIFE.
Alright, this blog post is too long.